A few days ago I downloaded and watched National Lampoon's Pledge This,
which I can say is, without a shadow of a doubt, the WORST. MOVIE. EVER. Now
keep in mind I have seen some terrible movies, in fact during my senior year
in HS and freshman year in Uni I would hangout with Gil (interhawk) and The
Rob (dracomortis) and we would go rent the worst possible movies we could
find, including, but not limited to, The Amazing Disco Godfather, which The
Rob renamed "The movie that shall never be mentioned again". So I can
confidently say that Pledge This is a ginourmous piece of crap. I should
have known this just by looking at its "star" but I watched it anyway
because Bianca Lawson had a part in it, and everybody knows that I have had
an undying love for Bianca since she played Kendra the Vampire Slayer on
Buffy.

The movie's plot is a bit generic: a group of friendly and sweet girls from
different backgrounds who form a friendship are forced, due to certain
circumstances, to pledge the most popular sorority on campus, and the
Sorority President allows them to pledge to meet some need, dumping them in
the end once her needs are met and treating them like crap along the way.
The problem with the movie? Wonky McValtrex** (for those of you who do not
know who I am refering to, its the blode, skinny, "famous" Hotel Heiress
[hints with the H], whose name I REFUSE to write in my journal). Wonky
McValtrex CANT ACT FOR SHIT! And if that was not enough to make this movie
craptastic, the movie further slides into crap by sucking Wonky's dick at
every turn. Generally these type of movies end with the oppressing bitch
being taught a lesson or paying for her evil ways, well not Pledge This, at
the end Wonky gets a lame ass "redemption" and is actually applauded by the
people who she spent the entire movie being a bitch to. WTF?!? There's even
a food fight in the end and the only one who does not get cake thrown at her
is Wonky McValtrex.

I'm certain my IQ about halved just from watching the movie. So if anybody
reading this EVER even THINKS of MAYBE watching Pledge This, DONT!!! Shoot
yourself in the foot, I guarantee that will be more fun that watching this
movie!

My brain can't even compute or comprehend why people think Wonky can act,
sing or do anything other than being a complete slut. If anybody ever thinks
that Wonky has any talent, all you have to do is watch this movie and that
idea will shoot straight out of your head!

Seriously Pledge This = WORST. MOVIE. EVER.

** Wonky McValtrex is TM of Michael @ Dlisted.com

These are the 2 goats that keep hangin' out across from my apartment, that I want to adopt. I call them Pepe (the boy with the horns, in the back) and Juana (the girl, in the front).

My apartment is on the second floor of a house that was divided up into
apartments and is located at the very end of the street. Behind the house
there is a small piece of land, in which the house's owner, my landlord, has
a little stable type structure in which he keeps/breeds hens and fighting
roosters (cocks?). Behind that is a fence which divides his property from a
long as field covered in grass. This piece of land belongs to someone who
constructed a sort of mini-farm, which houses horses, chickens, and at least
two (2) goats.

A while ago said goats somehow got loose, and since the owner, apparently,
could not care less, these goats have been hanging out in front of the hen
house type structure. One is cream/brown with two (2) small horns and what I
image is a huge ass pair of balls, hence I assume he is male. The other is
completely white/cream, except for some heavy mud/dirt in its fleece which
comes from having been caught in the rain several times. There's a small
space behind the hen house which is like a storage area, maybe, and has a
cyclone fence gate. On Friday I noticed that the goats were in that space,
and really thought nothing of it, but on Saturday when I returned from
grocery shopping the goats were still there and upon seeing me they started
Baaaa-ing like crazy, sort of desperately.

Now because I am NOT DRAMATIC AT ALL, I immediately thought "OMG! They are
probably trapped! They might have been there for days and they could be
starving and dehydrating and THEY COULD DIE!!!". So I went over and pulled
the door type thing which, although was tied with some rope, created enough
of a space for the goats to slip out. Once I saw the female goat slip out, I
started walking towards my car because I thought the male would soon follow,
but upon hearing some more DESPERATE Baaaa-ing, I realized that the male
could not get through on account of his horns, so I went back pulled the
gate further and let him out. The two of them darted towards some leaves and
grass and started eating and then crossed the road into the mini-farm. So I
got in my car and went to run some more errands. Once I returned they were
back in the storage area, so I figured they do have a way to get in and out
and I was being completely melodramatic before.

On Monday when I got home from work the goats were in front of the hen house
and as soon as I got out of my car they started coming towards me, so I took
my celly out my pocket and took some pictures of them. They slowed down but
kept coming closer towards me until the male was right next to me and
started smelling me. I was so tempted to pet him, but I was afraid he'd bite
me, or that he though I was gonna hit him and got scared or that he'd kick
me or something so I just backed up, waved and walked up the stairs.

This might sound completely insane, and it could be because Heather @
Dooce.com put the idea in my head in one of her posts, but I TOTALLY want to
"adopt" them. I want to setup some sort of containers so they always have
food to eat and clean water to drink. I want to bathe them, remove all the
dirt, and put some nice and pretty bandanas around their necks, maybe some
bows or something on the girl goat. I love animals so entirely much, while
at the same time being a complete hypocrite because I want all insects that
dare walk into my apartment to die instantly, but insects don't count right?

Anyways, yeah the fauna around my apartment has increased.

Ever since spending almost the entire Labor Day weekend watching LOGO at my
aunt's house, including 2 Noah's Arc marathons, I was looking forward to
getting a One Link cable hookup in my apartment. So I anxiously go into the
One Link Puerto Rico website to check prices, installation, service
packages, and the like. The first thing I do is check their area coverage
map thing, only to find out that they DO NOT provide service in my area.
WTF? They provide service for the cities that border Caguas/Gurabo but not
for Caguas/Gurabo. WTF? Why doesn't One Link want me to watch LOGO, more
specifically Noah's Arc? How am I supposed to get my fix of that sexy,
masculine, hunk of chocolate known as Jensen Atwood aka Wade on Noah's Arc?

I suppose I could look at it in the positive, its one less expense, more
money saved monthly and lets face it, if I had cable in my apartment I'd be
watching TV all day and not do one damn thing, just like I did this weekend.
I love watching TV, specially movies, and even after spending the entire
weekend watching TV, when I got home I watched Baby Mama and Ethan Mao,
which I had downloaded. (Yes while watching TV I left the computer on all
day downloading stuff.)

This labor day weekend I've been staying at my aunt's house in Isla Verde, watching my cousin. I was planning on taking a small tour through the area, but once I discovered all the channels that my aunt got in her TV hookup, I quickly changed my mind. I've been watching LOGO all weekend! I've seen a bunch of movies that I wanted to see and I caught a Noah's Arc marathon, which by the second episode had me completly hooked! It's a cute series, with many diverse characters, who in someway or another both comform and break gay stereotypes. It's sometimes funny and sometimes dramatic. I really enjoyed it and I'm going to have to get my hands on season one to catch up on what's going on, and to find out which episodes were the ones I watched.

My favorite part of the series, though, is Jensen Atwood. He plays the down low brutha Wade, who falls for Noah and decides to come out of the closet. He is the singularly most beautiful black man I have EVER seen. He's got beautiful eyes and a gorgeous smile, with cute dimples. *swoon*

This weekend was one of the most tiresome I've had in recent months, but in
a completely good way.

Friday night I went to a small get together at the neighbors' house, where
there was food and alcohol to be had, more alcohol than food naturally. The
neighbors have a toy Yorkie, who is all kinds of cute and cuddly, and also
gave us he scare of a lifetime. After everyone had left we noticed that the
dog was nowhere to be found, and that the front door had been left open.
Naturally we assumed that the dog had gone outside, so we all rushed to look
for him, the owner jumped in his car to drive around the blocks, but we
could not find him. After a while of looking without any luck and
having massive heart attacks one of the boys who had stayed inside the house
heard a little bell and we discovered that the dog had become trapped
underneath a reclining sofa which is why we couldn't find him. Thankfully
everything turned out alright. I am glad to know that I'm not the only one
who would freak out if something seemingly happened to their pet.

After going to bed approximately at 3am, I woke up at 9 on Saturday to walk
the dog, run some errands and wash my car. As everyone who knows me will
attest to, I HATE WASHING CARS!!!, but my car was absolutely filthy.
Normally I just vacuum and give it a quick was on the outside, without
taking into account the details, but this time I took the time to give it a
real cleaning. I even opened the doors and cleaned the frames and insides of
the door, including the one for the trunk and I hand dried the car. It took
me 2hrs, it was completely exhausting and I desperately hope I find a
boyfriend soon so I don't have to do that ever again. (joking... but not
really). After resting a little bit I picked up some ice cream sandwiches at
the grocery store and drove over to Desiree's house to see my God-kids.
Alanna was her usual self, trying to climb up on everything and trying to
pick up and carry everything. Aaron Japhet happened to be awake when I
arrived so I picked him up right away and played with him for a bit, fed him
and rocked him. After a while he started crying again, so I handed him over
to Desi so whe could breast feed him and then I changed his diaper and
rocked him to sleep. I'm begining to think that maybe if I find "The One", I
might want to have kids someday. I really do love spending time with my
God-kids. After we put the kids to bed I stayed with Desi talking until
about 2am, and didn't get home and to bed until 3:30am.

On Sunday, I had to wake up at 10 so that I could go baptize my other
God-Child (I have 3), Valeria. The baptism was a bit trying since she was
cranky and crying almost the entire time, she's a bit older and doesn't get
out much so she particularly didn't like a stranger, the priest, touching
her even though he was blessing her with oils, holy water or whatever.
Afterwards we went to a restaurant and ate at a buffet. I ate so much food,
I could hardly move! I was so tired and so full that I just went to bed as
soon as I got home and slept for like 3 or 4 hours. I woke up at 6pm so
needless to say I didn't have the easiest time going to bed again that
night, so I didn't fall asleep until 3:30am. And I had to wake up at 6:30am
to get ready to go to work, since I was in Ponce and had to drive to Gurabo.

Right now the word tired cannot completely encompass how I feel. And I still
have to go to the supermarket after work to shop for the week's groceries.
Joy.

On a completly different topic, I am planning my week long vacation with
Jabeth for October and I find it a little sad that I've lived in Puerto Rico
for 27 out of my 28 years and I have never explored any of the things the
island has to offer, save going hiking to Toro Negro with Gilbert
(interhawk). I've compiled a list of places to go and things to do with
Jabeth and I've never done any of them. I had no idea my island had so many
beautiful places to visit. I'm going to have to break out my credit card and
buy a digital camera, since my old school film camera broke, so that I can
take pictures of all the places we will be visiting. I talked to Jabeth just
today at lunch and I am SO EXCITED to see her after 5 years, and I'm so
excited to share with her all the cool things PR has to offer. Thank God for
google otherwise I would have had no idea where to take her when she comes
to visit. And the best part is that most of the things I have planned are
really cheap, I mean El Yunque Rainforest, The Governor's mansion (La
Fortaleza), El Bosque de Piñones, and El Morro are all between $2-$5, which
is completely awesome and totally doable.

Warning: There's a very high possibility that this post will be TMI as its subject is of a sexual manner.

Ever since I found out about Fleshlights (Warning: Site NSFW) I have been tempted to get one, but once they came out with the FleshJack, which is nothing more than a slightly modified FL but marketed towards gay men, I knew I definetly wanted to get one. The thing that always held me back was the fact that for shipping purposes they did not consider Puerto Rico as part of the US and thus the only shipping method was UPS International which was around $25-$30, which was completely unacceptable to say the least. This year however I decided to bite the bullet and just get one for Christmas. I logged on to the site to see how much it would run me so that I could properly budget my Christmas Bonus and maximize the stuff I could buy, and I found that they had reclassified PR as part of the US and shipping was now $7.95 for Priority Mail. Needless to say I pulled out my credit card and bought one immediately. So as of yesterday I'm the proud owner of a FleshJack! :D I'm staying over at my parental units house over the weekend so I have not been able to try it yet, but I can't wait to get to my apartment on Monday to try it out.